


Fine

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depressing, Eating Disorder, Louis Has An Eating Disorder, M/M, Sad Louis, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, depressed!louis, harry wyd in a chapter, i doubt this will make anyone cry but if it did sorry, idk I'm bored and depressed, is it too late now to say soRRY, louis is sad, louis is suicidal, louis self harms, suicidal!louis, this is also on my wattpad, this is vvvv short, yeah sorry it's been on the radio often
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 15:38:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6290200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Louis, are you feeling alright? You haven't eaten all day."</p><p>"I'm fine Mum. Don't worry. I'm fine."</p><p>Fine.</p><p>Something he hasn't been in a while.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fine

-1-

 

Louis sighed as he watched the blood drip from his thigh to the floor.

He smiled at the crimson liquid.

He grabbed the blade and wrote one word.

Fine.

 

-2-

 

Louis was kneeling in front of the toilet. He shoved his fingers down his throat until he reached the place.

He gagged and his lunch of an apple and orange came back out and into the toilet.

He flushed the toilet and got back up when he was done. Brushed his teeth then weighed himself.

102 pounds.

He felt tears come to his eyes and thought of how fat he was.

He cried as he thought of what he wasn't.

Fine.

 

-3-

 

Louis was running to where the bridge was when he collided into a strong chest.

He gasped and stumbled back waiting for the fall that never came.

Arms were wrapped around him and he looked into the piercing green eyes.

Louis scanned the boy and the boy asked,"Are you alright?"

Louis said one simple word. One simple lie.

"Fine."

 

-4-

 

Louis learned the perfect strangers name was Harry.

Harry took him for coffee, and when he asked if Louis wanted anything he declined.

Harry looked at him oddly and said,"But your so small and thin! Surely you must be hungry."

Louis simply shook his head. He was a little hungry but he had been doing this long enough he could ignore the pain.

Louis sighed and though of how he wished he was fine so he could have a relationship with Harry.

But there is always gonna be the one word he's not.

Fine.

 

-5-

 

Harry ended up buying Louis a muffin. Lois forced the muffin down and gave Harry a fake smile when they were about to leave.

Louis knew everything about him was fake. But Louis could never tell people what he wasn't.

Fine.

 

-6-

 

Louis just arrived home after walking back from the coffee place he was at with Harry.

Louis ended up getting Harry's number, but he didn't think he would ever use it.

Louis mumbled a greeting when he got home then ran upstairs to the bathroom, determined to get the muffin out of his body.

When he was done he sat against the door and whispered,"Why can't I be fine?"

 

-7-

 

Harry asked to meet Louis the day after they met.

Louis agreed.

Harry took him to a small diner and for once in a long time, Louis smiled.

Well, he smiled a genuine smile.

He though that maybe he could be fine. If he was with Harry maybe he could be fine.

He was thinking these until he got home and he saw the toilet waiting for him.

When he finished getting rid of the food he cried.

He cried because he knew he would never be okay.

He would never be fine.

 

-8-

 

Louis had seen Harry a few more times since the last.

He smiled a little more each time but when Louis got home the smiles faded into frowns.

They would always fade into frowns. Because Louis was anything but fine.

 

-9-

 

After Louis and Harry's 7th date, Harry asked Louis to be his boyfriend. Louis had smiled and accepted.

Never did Louis ever think he would have a boyfriend. Especially such a good looking one like Harry.

When Louis opened the door he told his Mum he got a boyfriend.

She looked at him disgusted and said,"You disgusting faggot! You are no son of mine! I did not raise you to be a sin! Your sicken me. People like you should just die!"

With that, she slapped him and Louis was left crying.

Louis ran to the bathroom and he cut deeper that night. The blood was everywhere and Louis didn't stop until he passed out. But Louis still cried.

Still cried because he would never be fine.

 

-10-

 

The beatings Louis' mum gave Louis kept going for weeks. But Louis seeing Harry didn't.

Louis finally did it though after knowing Harry for 4 months he finally kissed him.

Harry smiled and kissed him back.

Louis felt weird in his stomach and he knew that he was falling in love.

He though maybe, just maybe, he could be alright.

But no. He would never be that one lie.

Fine.

 

-11-

 

Louis' beatings were getting worse. His thoughts of suicide were strong worse. His cutting became deeper.

He was crying more at night.

But the one good thing that came out of all this was Louis' mum never gave him food.

He was fine with that. But he himself would never be. He would never be fine.

 

-12-

 

It has been 6 months since Louis met Harry. He has admitted to himself he fell in love. But he would never admit that out loud.

Harry might run away if he did. Then Louis would never recover. Would never be fine.

 

-13-

 

Louis was miserable. Not only was his mum becoming a slut and sleeping with every man in a club, but the beatings were becoming worse.

Jay found out of Louis' cuts and since then she had began cutting over the cuts with a knife.

She would tie him with rope and torture him like that. Gagging him so no one could hear his screams for help.

What made it worse was as Jay would do this she would whisper harsh words at him.

But the one that got him most was when she would say,"You're not ever going to be fine."

 

-14-

 

Louis and Harry were dining at a small coffee shop again.

Harry saw Louis picking at his food and barely drinking his tea.

Harry asked Louis a question he had been asked multiple times.

"Are you okay?"

And Louis responded with the same answer.

"Fine."

 

-15-

 

After 8 months of meeting Harry, Louis confessed his love for Harry.

Harry's reaction was not what he thought though.

Harry looked disgusted and pushed him away. Starting to beat him and yelling the word 'fag' over and over.

Louis cried but he cried more when he could smell the alcohol and drugs on Harry's breath.

Louis couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't okay. He was not the lie he had been telling.

Fine.

 

-16-

 

Louis was done. After Harry beat him he ran home and ran straight to the bathroom.

He had been planning his suicide for the longest time and he finally decided on one.

But first he would write a short letter.

"I'm not fine."

 

-17-

 

When Harry woke up with a pounding headache he knew something was wrong.

The memories of what he did to Louis suddenly hit him.

He gasped and threw clothes on running to Louis' house.

He banged on the door until a woman he assumed was Louis' mother opened the door. He pushed past her and ran up the stairs.

He had been in Louis' house once before when his mother wasn't home and he still remembered where Louis' bathroom was.

He threw the door open and sobbed at the sight in front of him.

Louis was not, and never was fine.

 

-18-

 

Harry stumbled toward his pale white boyfriend.

Louis was lying in the bathtub, face under water. Water and tub stained with red. Cuts were littered all over Louis' skin. Some new some old. Bruises also were scattered on his skin. Bottles and bottles of pills lying everywhere.

Harry kneeled beside the bathtub and pulled Louis out. He could hear Jay gasp softly at the sight of her son.

It was then Harry noticed the slip of paper lying on the sink.

Harry read it out loud.

"I'm not fine."

 

-Epilogue-

 

It has been 3 months since Louis died. Harry was still grieving.

Harry finally gave into the temptation and ran to the bridge. The same bridge that he didn't know Louis wanted to use.

He whispered two words as he fell.

"I'm sorry."

And Harry thought that, as he was falling, he heard someone with a high pitched voice, say:

It's fine.


End file.
